Secrets diving in like memories from a foreign vacation.  It's hard to focus on what's around me anymore. I'm constanly in an obsessive world that no one hears or sees. I let little words seep out to see their reactions and they never catch on. If you avoid the subject long enough. they give up.

"I just don't."
"I just don't."
"I just don't."

Imagine that... a world where you never have to answer questions that are asked.... I never thought I'd live in that world. I never thought that was a possibility.  

I really hope the book does me justice.  I've found a number of things to be triggering lately.

My mother lost her storage unit because she's still married to that asshole of a step-father of mine... and well.... she lost ALL of our pictures.. My prom pictures are gone, my childhood pictures are gone, he childhood pictures are gone, all of my awards from school are gone, all of my certificates, first place awards from varsity track, all of my old report cards, and drawings, and things I've ever given to my mother... LOST!

FOREVER!


lol... what else is going to be "taken" from me?


lol .. it's a matter of time.. My clock is tick tick ticking away....

This is a nice game I like to play....


Fuck the world and fornicate..

I hate myself when I look in the mirror.