Thursday, February 13, 2014

Time flies when you have insomnia. I don't even know who I am or what to so anymore. Life is a blur and I have never felt so alone. They say things get better but it only seems like they are getting worse. Too much change all at once and in the mean time no one understands you. Am I fucking speaking French?

The Ana Mia Chronicles got deleted... So now there's only this blog left. Why does everything end at the same time?  Why is life so confusing? I can't figure out what to do anymore. Do I stay or do I go?  My car broke down again. I don't have one now. My aunt moved away and started school. She has no time for me anymore... And then there's Seth... Seth and I are atill not together and I've been sleeping at his apartment regularly for a year as of feb 12 th but who's counting right? I have no confidence in the way I look and I'm feeling like I'm fading away. No one kisses me. Not even Seth. I'm empty. I'd kill myself tomorrow if I had a way to hide it from people but maybe I'll just empty myself out and quietly die in my sleep. Id have to sleep first... 

I dunno where life is taking me but I've had enough. I feel alone and empty... Helpless and needy. Hopeless and doubtful. And quiet. I'm easily dismissed by others.. I'm becoming invisible. More so than I've ever been. 

Maybe I'll finally disappear forever... 

Time can only tell.. 

-Lisa Rowe