tired

I'm so tired of people taking me granted. I'm so tired of people not seeing what they have before them. I'm so sick of giving my all to everyone and no one realizing everything that I'm doing. I'm tired of them just getting used to it because I give and give and give so much. I'm so sick of pleasing people. I'm hate that I'm the kind of person who is happy making other people happy.  I give so much of myself to see people smile or to satisfy one's needs or wants but all in all in the end I'm the one who ends up unhappy.. because the things I do don't make them happy anymore. The happy feel they had turns into expectations when all the things I did we pluses and additions to what I SHOULD be doing.  I'm so tired of everyone around me. I need to go away for a while. I need to move away and let go of everything and everyone. If I knew that the person really appreciated me and was always genuinely happy and appreciative of all the things I did and do for them, I don't think I could ever be unhappy.  If at least ONE fucking person wouldn't turn these "favors" into expectations I would think I was fulfilled in life.. I have YET to meet someone like that..

Otherwise.. I'm just considered a EASY pushover who is easy to take advantage of.

I am the kind of person who will bend over backwards and forwards for the one's I love and care about and I don't mind doing one bit. I give everyone I care about my all and all I expect in return is appreciation that doesn't turn into expectation.

My family... gone.. been gone.. friends.. pfftt.. I barely have any anymore. 

Then there are men..

I guess I'm just too easy.  My heart is an open wound waiting for more masses of men to pour salt on..

I guess I'm just too easy.  My heart is a fool and my brain is fool for allowing my heart to take it over.  When will I ever learn? I don't think I ever will. Which is why i need to get away .. move on.. move forward.. move away. 

Well, if you wanted to push me away.. you sure as fuck did it!

I'm not one of your trashy friends you can just fuck and hear them tell you how amazing you are. 

I'm a god damn human who accidentally fell in love with you. 

My fucking bad..

I guarantee it WILL NOT happen again.

I'm done with people. I fucking hate people.

I need to alone for a while. And I really mean a fucking WHILE!  I'm over this shit! So done.....


I'm moving away. I'm not telling anyone where. I'm not telling anyone with who.. I'm changing my name, email, facebook, phone number, car and residence.. and maybe even my profession ... so I can stay the hell away from the society I've gotten to know a little too well. I'm over this bullshit attachment shit! Abandonment issues my ass.... Wanna see abandonment? I'm abandoning society..

I've never been so fucking serious about anything in my entire fucking life..

Farewell public.  Hello me! I've missed you. 

-LR.