Done, Dead, Dust

Happy mother fucking Cinco de Mayo.

I think I’m finally beginning to hate this month.  I hate Spring because every year it’s a god damned reminder of the worst time of my life. 
Yesterday I heard that fucking Filter song that usually sends me into a whirlpool of fuck you’s .
Last night "Mr. Awesome" said he was a hopeless romantic. I laughed and said yeah right.  A hopeless romantic who doesn’t commit! I’m sure…
He said yeah! I love romance. 

He won't commit.  He just won't and I can't sit hear another day thinking I keep hearing people over there when he's not even home half of the time. I'm losing my fucking mind over a fucking penis.  I just hate that he takes away all of my darkest shadows when he's around and he always does too.  I can't be that for him.  I don't think anyone can.  This is what I get for opening my fucking legs again. This is what I get for giving in! I should have fucking said no!