Venting...

Apparently when you go to Pro Ana chat sites and vent.. they bash you to hell and call you a wanna...

I just don't want to struggle with all this shit anymore.

I found Seth with another girl on his birthday. I tried to kill myself 3 times at his apartment.. There are a lot of things I don't want to get into detail about .. but let's just say.. in the midst of it when I told him I wanted to marry him..

He said:

ARE YOU CRAZY?!? I wouldn't marry you! You're fat, lazy, and I would never be with anyone who weighed more than me.

I haven't been eating again.

I've lost 15 lbs in 7 days... I've been walking/running in the morning and I've been working out every night before bed.

I can't do this anymore. I can't be fat anymore.

I ate a salad today because he's worried...

I purged.

I purged 2 days ago.

I told my friend .. she's worried..

I don't want to worry anyone.. so I'm not telling anyone about today. Just you.

I'm a wanna...

I wanna be fucking perfect again.

I don't care anymore... I have scars to prove it.