Keep the Silence; Keep the Peace...

Just got off the phone with my grandmother..
The one who used to save me from my mental demons.
She kidnap me and we'd go to lunch and eat Chinese chicken salads.
She said this age [26] was her enlightening age. She learned so much at this age. She really enjoyed this one the most.

This is NOT the case with me.
I miss things going back to normal.
Wait.. what's that? Normal?
This is the best it's ever been..
"Supposedly"
It's sad to even admit that.
I have no food in my apartment.
Which isn't necessarily a bad thing.
Seth asked me this morning [when I woke up in his bed]
If I ate as a reply to me saying,"I feel weak."

I should have never told him anything.
Now everyday is bombarded with stupid questions like
"Are you okay?"
"How was day?"
"Was today better?"
"Did you eat?"


Ugh! NO NO NO
Hence the reason I never wanted to tell you anything. Cuz I knew you'd bring it up.
Leave me alone.
Just go away!
Let me rot in my pathetic [un-paid-for] apartment.

I wish I could fade away into bones and disappear.
He's so tiny. Why would he want to fuck a cow?


I wouldn't....

Scale = 157

But my size is the same as it was when I was 148...

I don't understand.
It's gross.

Fuck food.
Fuck love.
Fuck life.


Just me.

-LR.