Last I checked I was 161. I don't where I stand today because I've been deathly afraid of what the scale is going to say cuz I know I gained during my period. I'm on day 6 so I should be done soon. I hope I finish tomorrow. I can't stand these craving and this bloating. I can tell in my wrists etc that I haven't gained A TON.. but I feel super bloated and gross.
We're out of toilet paper and my bf doesn't get paid until Sunday [the 10th] so we're super fucked. When I get my check, I'm buying my fucking pills. I need to pay car insurance, my cell phone bill, and I need to fix the AC in my car, then get caught up on rent, but I'll be damned if I'm going to be a fucking fatty for another birthday in a row! I always fuck up around this time of the year.
I think me and the bf are going through a major depression and the apartment and everything looks like it's being effected. Things are messy, and I'm fatter. I really just want to be there already .. hopefully by Fall Semester..
I'll weigh in at the end of the week so I can have a weekly goal, but I'll work on it by then so I don't see that I've gained.
I'm going crazy. Trying not to care has just made me binge like mad! I think I'll cleanse tonight.. I can flush all this shit out and smoke my appetite away. I can't stand looking at my gross face and thighs anymore. I feel very gross today.
Ew.
-Blubber Flabby Abs.
Don't worry. You will be starting that new job soon and everything is going to get better. You will be able to pay the bills effortlessly again. You can by your pills, have energy to clean.
ReplyDeleteDon't beat yourself up. We all go threw little binges here and there. I tend to binge when I am emotional or if my mind just goes nuts( in other words my mind gets a high from certain foods )
Not sure if I made you feel any better but I am trying. You stay strong. You can do this!